It’s my first (somewhat vaguely) NSFW post! Though, I think, if your boss has a problem with these, then he’s really just being self conscious and you should make him a happy one! Also, for someone trying to get pregnant who has a Great sense of humor, these would make an amusing talisman or something… Anyways, here’s my baby, pattern and all! I’m sorry mine is dead, but I forgot my yarn needle, so he’s stuck with this face for now.
Little Swimmer Pattern
Yarn: Encore Worsted by Plymouth Yarn (White)
small amount of Cotton-Ease by Lion Brand (Charcoal) or other dark colored yarn scrap
Others: small ball of polyfill, yarn needle
With the White, make a small ball. You can choose to add the features before or after stuffing. Begin stuffing the body around the 8th row.
1: Chain 2.
2: Sc 6 into first chain and pull tail tight (magic circle method). (6)
3: 2sc in all stitches. (12)
4: *2sc, 1sc.* (18)
5-7: 1sc in all stitches. (18)
8: *1sc, 1dec*. (12)
9: 1sc in all stitches. (12)
10: *dec*. (6)
11: *dec*. (3)
Chain 20 and then sc in each, all the way back to the body. Your tension will determine the amount of tail curl. Cut your tail, pull the yarn through, and use the extra to close up the body.
You can use a variety of faces to give your swimmers personality and character. For ideas for alternative expressions, see Wikipedia’s List of Emoticons.